Overcoming HA & fulfilling my dream of motherhood
I didn’t know if I would ever be able to have children… and I was the reason why.
Although I had been doing well in (ED) recovery for years, there were still parts of my past that I struggled to let go of:
Maintaining a healthy weight for MY body (not societal expectations)
Feeling obligated to exercise
Eating enough to fuel my active lifestyle/career
Giving myself permission to eat intuitively/for enjoyment
Appreciating my body for its function, not degrading it for its appearance
As a result of living this way, I suffered from Hypothalamic Amenorrhea (HA) for nearly 6 years.
I knew that HA would impact my ability to have the future I dreamt of, but was terrified of what needed to be done in order to restore my health.
I made half-ass attempts at HA recovery for about 2 years by:
“reducing” my workout time
”challenging” myself with food
convincing myself that I was “trying”
I read the books, did the research…. Basically, checked all the boxes to make myself feel like I was helping myself even though I knew deep down that I had more work to do.
My attempts were excuses to mask my fear of change, the unknown and keep me stuck in my comfort zone. They were conditional on the familiar beliefs and habits I had ingrained in my mind and body over the years.
So what finally changed?
I was sick and tired of negotiating with my fears and making up excuses to stay comfortable. My desire for true health finally became stronger than my reasons for staying stuck. My “WHY” became my mission – and when I’m on a mission I’m unstoppable.
I had HA for nearly 6 years and it took me only 6 weeks (yes weeks) to reverse it once I went all in and committed fully to recovery. Shortly after, I got pregnant 🤍
Remember - It doesn’t matter how many times you have to start over or try again. What matters is that you do. ⚡️
Ask yourself what is most important to you in life. Are you living in a way that honors that desire? If not, what is one action you could take today to get you started in the right direction?
Your future self is rooting for you❤️
If you are struggling with body/self image and would like someone to talk to- my inbox is open for you!
